Is that too much to ask? Even the senior citizens are hot. Oh yes, the young, urban, German woman is of singular beauty, like a gentle breeze of style, class and understated sex appeal. As for hyperfertile jailbait, well, these are simply hovel trolls in the nymph stage of development; they have yet to molt, shed their soft-shelled exterior, and emerge as the hard, sunken-cheeked, toothless wonders found in every small town in every country across the globe. German women make the perfect spouses , especially for American men and women. Beautiful, middle-aged women and handsome older men. But she takes care of her teeth, man. So these days, young German women are growing up with a great deal of sexual maturity and far fewer hangups. Like from barking our shins against the sofa?
No actual problems at all? And you know why? When compared to the rest of us poo-flinging chimps, the mighty female primates of Germany score a record-setting 5 out of 5 Merkel Diamonds: Seriously, I have yet to meet a stupid world traveler. And you know what this does? Which is really just a Bavarian thing. Well, most of them, I should say: Or say fuck it, strap on a pair of industrial strength beer goggles and go home with that beautiful, butter-toothed daffodil. And in my experience, frequent and diverse travel absolutely obliterates ignorance. Use that to your advantage. And how are they gathering their data? Just try and go in for a whitening: Well, let me tell you what happens next: Now, I know many of you will disagree with this evaluation — most of all the German women themselves and their former American lovers — but I politely invite all my readers to spew bile across my comments section like a fat kid on a roller coaster. Because we balance each other out. Oh yes, the young, urban, German woman is of singular beauty, like a gentle breeze of style, class and understated sex appeal. Now get back to work. Public displays of affection, casual nudity, interracial coupling and legalized prostitution are boring to them. But flattery is a rare commodity over here — as are effective humor and blatant flirtation — all of which can be combined and harnessed to power your dating game like a goddamn nuclear reactor. So these days, young German women are growing up with a great deal of sexual maturity and far fewer hangups. So if you ever find yourself chatting it up with a German woman, ask if you can compare passports with her. I think it has something to do with the amount of tea, coffee and cigarettes they consume. I know I am! Hell, most of them are straight up bilingual, which comes as a result of education, intelligence, or a combination of the two. You know what this does? I totally added the yellow teeth. You know what else is sexy?
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