I have no time or patience for men who play games and control women in order to feel like men. For me, intellect and humor are inseparable bedfellows. There is nothing sexy about a man who pretends to be something he's not, who lacks any depth of feeling, and who doesn't care how much blood he leaves on the tracks. But now, at 52, I don't really have a "type. I don't care how gorgeous a man is; if he can't entice me with his mind, the sexual chemistry won't be there.
It's an ambience distilled from quiet authority, an ability to read my body and my breath, a sensual lingering in the moment that may or may not involve gazing in my eyes, but always requires a desire to be vulnerable and present. Even if a guy is hot, if his version of funny doesn't sync with mine, the sexy won't stay sexy for long. I don't care how gorgeous a man is; if he can't entice me with his mind, the sexual chemistry won't be there. Many of these 11 things didn't appear on the checklist I had when I was in my 20s. And why not, since day one of , he has been a trend setter as long as style and physique are concerned. Sometimes I remembered how a t-shirt clung to one man's shoulders, or how another held my gaze unabashedly over a glass of wine. I've also found that stingy men aren't as good lovers as their more generous counterparts. For me, intellect and humor are inseparable bedfellows. While they may dazzle in the beginning, womanizers, scoundrels, and narcissists use lies, cheap tricks, and smoke and mirrors for personal gain. Critical thinking, an unquenchable thirst for learning, and a gift for distinctive self-expression create, for me, a kind of male siren's song. I gravitate towards men with a palpable sexiness. A sexually charged man who is in command of his urges and firmly situated in his sexual expression will turn me into a breathless, perpetually aroused Alpha Submissive in no time flat. This means he can tell you what he wants, when he's afraid, how you make him feel, what he did that he's made amends for, what he's overcome, what brings him to his knees. This man has been oozing hotness on social media. Well, to make it more difficult for you, let us tell you that Bollywood's Greek God Hrithik Roshan is not on the numero uno spot. Not only stingy with money, but also stingy with feelings. Compassion, empathy, a ready smile, an easy laugh -- these traits and actions are disarming in the best sense of the word. Did I notice eyes? Without transparency, there can be no genuine intimacy, that ingredient that makes sex remain sexy when the initial high of infatuation dissipates. Sexual confidence -- True sexual confidence has nothing to do with penis size, smooth moves, and bedpost notches. It's not sexy to sleep with someone who holds back physically or emotionally in bed. Mindfulness -- the ability to be aware and present in the moment, even if that moment is painful -- is the ultimate form of ambition because it requires a commitment to personal growth that is not for the faint of heart. While squandering one's money and emotions indicate a lack of control or self-worth, counting pennies and withholding genuine contact suggest a preference for things over people. If you gave me a choice between bedding Don Draper and Atticus Finch, I'd choose that soft-spoken lawyer any day. I'm talking about internal-fortitude strength. Partnership -- The only place I want to be dominated is in the bedroom, and that still requires my consent.
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