It is not a personal affront that adds insult to my existing injury. Click on the button below to receive blog posts and newsletters by email. Before I understood how emotional sex was for my husband, his request for sex after an argument was adding insult to injury. Is putting out after falling out really a good idea? And that's not a good thing. It can be physically painful, it can be mechanical and distant, and it doesn't tend to make each other feel special. When I learned that sex is the very thing that helps my husband feel emotionally connected to me, I was able to understand that his request for sex was a yearning for our relationship to be restored. If you are dealing with these kinds of issues in your marriage, please seek support from a pastor or professional counselor. Should you have angry sex?
By requiring him to do things the way I wanted talking , I was prolonging that process for him—just as by doing the things he wanted having sex , he was prolonging the process for me. If you are dealing with these kinds of issues in your marriage, please seek support from a pastor or professional counselor. This blog is supported by readers. Although it might be urgent and intense, it doesn't create a great sense of intimacy. And that's not a good thing. It is not a personal affront that adds insult to my existing injury. When I was feeling so hurt and angry, the last thing I wanted to do was have sex. In this situation, although the act of sex may be really enjoyable and intense, you're still left with major hurt to try and deal with after you put your clothes back on! Instead of insisting that I feel emotionally connected to my husband before we can even think about sex, now I remember that sex can be just as healing as conversation. If you would like to become a patron, click here for more information. This post is not about the burden you carry. Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos. Letting go of anger in the bedroom can therefore be a great way to bring back some of the raw passion often experienced at the beginning of relationships. Is putting out after falling out really a good idea? In those moments, my husband felt like an opposing force to me. I use affiliate links in my posts. Sex can also be used as an avoidance tactic, so it can help you skim over real problems in your relationship that need addressing. Now, I have additional approaches to use if I am struggling. When I was looking at his desire for sex as just physical, it felt very weird and fake to think about having sex when I was upset with him. The drive for an orgasm is secondary. Should you have angry sex? At first, having sex when I was upset with my husband required me to do a lot of deep breathing and mental gymnastics. Sex author, Tracey Cox told the Daily Mail that rage can be channelled in a positive way in sexual situations because it produces the same bodily reaction as things like risk or danger do, which in the bedroom equals excitement and arousal. Jun 27, I am not going to address those situations here.
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